Support time 第六集 人該學會心機嗎?
這封信是來自一位年輕人
她的個性比較直
有時候會擔心
把情緒都表現出來
會不會顯得不夠成熟
因為她的上司曾說過
如果未來要做更高的職位
可能需要學會更有心機一點
或是會擔心
自己的情緒反應是不是太大
因為她的男友情緒很平穩
我想她的問題
也是每個人的問題
當自我特質與他人或社會標準不同時
該怎麼拿捏
我認為發揮自己的特質
活出自己原本的樣子
是比較快樂且容易成功的
相對的
扮演一個不是自己的角色
往往是痛苦且不容易成功的
除非你喜歡當演員
回到她的問題
如果未來要做更高的職位
是不是需要學會更有心機一點呢?
其實與其說是心機
我覺得不如說是思考和判斷的能力
因為在越高的職位
要對應的狀況和人物也更複雜
如果你只有一種應對模式
可能會顯得有點菜
所以我們需要學的是
觀察、思考以及合適的應對
這是一種可以隨時間累積的技術
但另一方面來說
如果是面對可信賴的對象
真誠反而是最大的優點
可以幫助你贏得對方的信任
她的另一個問題
是關於情緒起伏大
當她看到男友情緒平穩
便開始質疑自己是不是不夠成熟
我可以理解她的羨慕
但還是要提醒她一個重點
不要想變成別人的樣子
你有你自己適合的樣子
當我們羨慕別人的好
而覺得自己很糟時
可以做的第一件事是
試著切換一下觀點
例如:
情緒起伏大有沒有好處?
有時候我覺得情緒豐沛的人
更能夠享受這趟人生旅程
他們可以很入戲
這點很令人感到羨慕
如果要成為音樂家或是演員
這些情緒都是很寶貴的財富
可以幫助你發光發熱
那如果是過於激動
想要讓自己冷靜下來的時候呢?
很有效的一招
是停下來一會兒
或是離開那個地方
暫停可以讓理智有空隙可以介入
有時這樣就足夠了
當然其他還有許多
關於情緒管理的技巧
如果有興趣
都可以找得到資源
並嘗試出適合自己的方法
題目參考來源:
莫名其妙EP188
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0d5o1_-5n-8
–English version–
Support Time Ep6: Should People Be Scheming?
This letter is from a young lady who describes herself as straightforward. She worries that she might seem immature if she shows her emotions directly. Her boss has told her that if she wants to reach a higher position in the future, she should learn to be more scheming. Additionally, she is concerned about her emotional stability because her boyfriend appears very stable.
I believe the questions she raises are common ones. When our personality traits differ from others or social standards, which should we follow?
I think showcasing our own personality traits and living authentically leads to greater happiness and success. In contrast, playing a role that doesn’t align with our true selves is tough and not conducive to success—unless you enjoy acting.
Returning to her question: If she wants to achieve a higher position in the future, should she learn to be scheming? I believe it’s more about thinking and judgment than scheming. Being in a higher position means dealing with more complicated situations and people. Having only one approach can seem immature.Therefore, what we need to learn are observation, thinking, and appropriate responses. These are skills that can be developed over time. On the other hand, being sincere with those you trust can help you gain their trust.
Her other concern is about her mood swings. Seeing her boyfriend always calm makes her feel immature.
I understand her envy, but I want to remind her not to try to become someone else—she has her own style.
When we envy others and feel inadequate, the first thing we can do is change our perspective. For instance, are there any benefits to having mood swings? Sometimes, people with abundant emotions can enjoy life’s journey more and be very entertaining. I sometimes feel jealous of that.
Emotion is a precious asset for musicians or actors, as it can help them shine. When you’re overly emotional and want to calm down, a very effective move is to pause for a while or leave the place. Pausing can create a space for reason to intervene. Sometimes, that’s enough. Of course, there are many other techniques for managing emotions. If you’re interested, you can find resources and suitable methods for yourself through exploration.