Support Time 第七集 關於遺憾
這集的原PO生長在一個保守的公務員家庭
從小父母就幫孩子
決定好了人生方向
希望她也能考公職
有個安全穩定的未來
原PO大學畢業後
順利地考上了公股銀行
但工作的很不快樂
因為她其實是喜歡冒險的個性
在忍耐到了極限後
她決定去做自己喜歡的事
進修自己喜歡的時尚產業
但也因此跟家裡決裂
獨自在外生活
數年過去後
她已經有了自己的成就
但同時收到爸爸病重的消息
過不久她爸就離世了
這導致原PO深陷自責的情緒中
總想著是不是自己太不孝
雖然她父親最後也跟她說沒有關係
但她無法放下這強烈的遺憾感
我想人們在生命的過程中
多少都經歷過遺憾或後悔的情緒
想著或許當初
能夠做出更好的選擇
讓現在的一切都變得更好
這讓我回想起
公視植劇場系列的荼蘼
人生的每個抉擇
都意味著得到一部分
同時也失去了一部分
就算是大人也不能選擇全都要
我們能做的
就是確保自己
在當下做出了最好的選擇
知道自己可能會得到什麼
也知道自己放棄了什麼
就這個案例的原PO而言
如果當初沒離開家
那能夠得到她想要的人生嗎?
如果選擇了離家
但又想擁有親情的羈絆
請問自己一個問題
當時的自己做得到這件事嗎?
在大吵了一架之後
彼此都生氣受傷的情況下
即便讓你再活一次
事情會有所不同嗎?
現在的原PO
已經知道了選擇的結果
並且或許也比過去的自己更加成熟了
但這些都無法帶回過去
如果可以的話
請把過去的遺憾
當成是寶貴的經驗
認清過去已無法改變
但我們可以把這經驗
用在未來的其他選擇上
話雖如此
處理情感並不是件容易的事情
尤其是人生中的重大傷痛
不過人可以透過學習
長出更強韌的內心
以及如何從不同的角度看待世界
讓自己不再受困於
強烈的情緒之中
收聽啟點文化的相關影片
或是讓諮商師幫忙做心理按摩
都有助於維護心理健康
無論如何 請記住
你不必獨自面對
題目參考來源:
家人離世後，對於親情的遺憾要如何放下…？｜莫名其妙EP189
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMUV_MKTxHE
–English version–
Support Time Ep7: About Regret
This episode is about regret.
The poster was raised in a conservative civil servant family. When she was young, her parents made every decision for her, including about her future. They hoped she could become a civil servant too, so she could have a safe and stable life.
After she graduated from university, she got a job at a public bank which was very stable, but then she found she wasn’t happy at all. Actually, she likes adventure. One day, she felt she couldn’t bear it anymore and decided to study fashion design, which interested her. It was a big change, and she had a big fight with her father, then moved out and has been living alone since then.
Years later, she achieved some success in the fashion industry, but her father became very sick and passed away soon after. That made her feel deep remorse for leaving her family. Even though her father told her it was okay, she couldn’t forgive herself.
I think people all go through similar situations in their lives. Feeling regret and wondering, “What if we’d made a different decision, would things have been better now?”
It makes me think of a TV drama called “Tea Millet.”
Every choice in our life means we gain some possibilities while losing others. Nobody can have it all. What we can do is ensure we made the best decision we could at that time, knowing what we might gain and what we might lose.
Returning to this case, if the poster hadn’t left home, would she have the life she wanted? After she left home, she still wanted her family. I want to invite her to think about this question: After a big fight with your family, when everyone got hurt and felt angry, is it possible to make things better? Even if you could live again?
Current, the poster already knows the results of her choice and may be more mature than her past self, but none of this can bring back the past.
It’s like being unable to take winning lottery numbers from now and go back in time to buy a ticket.
Please consider past regrets as valuable experiences. Recognize that the past cannot be changed, but we can use these experiences in future decisions.
Having said that, handling emotions is not easy, especially when dealing with deeply hurtful experiences in life. But people can become stronger through learning, learning how to see the world from different perspectives, and preventing emotional suffering.
Listening to psychological programs or seeing a psychotherapist can help. Remember, you don’t have to face this alone.