左京研討會第十一篇
按讚的原則
當我還是青少年時
我只對那些真正欣賞的東西按讚
那時我還不理解
為什麼有些人
會對朋友發的文一律按讚
我是說
如果你對每個東西都按讚
那對真正美好的事物
是不是不公平呢?
但後來我了解了
按讚的功能除了表達讚歎
也能用來維繫人際關係
每個人都想要被喜歡
我記得有個採訪王牌銷售員的文章
他提高銷售額的秘訣
就是對每個客人說我喜歡你
雖然我不鼓勵大家
對每個人都說我喜歡你
那樣有點情感詐欺的感覺
但透過按讚
對朋友釋出一些善意還是很好的
所以我現在也會這樣做
但同時也保有一些
只對欣賞的事物按讚的習慣
誇讚別人也是一種相似的行為
我以前很少誇讚別人
也很少誇讚自己
可能是因為內心的標準比較高
但後來我發現
這樣有點太嚴苛了
太過認真嚴肅
會讓生活失去喜樂
所以我現在也開始稱讚自己和他人了
稱讚的反面是批評
我其實天性不喜歡批評別人
可能是我知道凡事的發生都有其原因
拘泥於事件的表象
只會讓自己產生不必要的負面情緒
試著了解脈絡反倒能釋懷
在網路的時代
把批評造成的傷害放大了許多
人似乎有種給事物評價的天性
即便他們並沒有足夠的資訊
也習慣就自己所看到的做出推測
這可能是一種生存的本能
在遠古時代我們需要它
但在網路時代卻會造成傷害
其實如果停下來仔細想想
批評和究責只會帶來傷害
同理和關懷才會帶來愛
而哪一個值得在這世界散播開來
是傷害還是愛?
我最近在看佛陀的電視劇集
從裡面學到了一些像這樣
發人省思的詞句
而且印度人很愛從自然中譬喻道理
我想我知道
印度詩人泰戈爾的風格是從哪來的了
推薦大家去看看
佛陀的電視劇
或是泰戈爾的詩集
–English version–
The Principle of Pressing Like
When I was a teenager, I only pressed ‘Like’ for something that truly impressed me. I didn’t understand why some people pressed ‘Like’ on every post from their friends. I mean, if you ‘Like’ everything, that’s unfair to the truly good things! But now I understand why. It’s not just a way to show admiration, but also a way to maintain relationships.
Everyone likes to be liked. I remember reading an article that interviewed an ace salesperson, who said his secret was saying ‘I like you’ to everyone. Although I don’t recommend saying ‘I like you’ as the salesperson did, since it can seem insincere, pressing ‘Like’ on your friends’ posts and sharing friendly gestures is a good thing you can do. I also do that now while maintaining my habit of pressing ‘Like’ on things that are genuinely good.
Praising is a similar behavior. I didn’t use to praise people or myself a lot, possibly because of the high standards I held. But I found that being too serious made life less joyful, so I started praising people and myself more often.
The opposite of praising is criticizing. Actually, I don’t naturally like to criticize people. Maybe it’s because I believe that everything happens for a reason. Focusing on the surface of an event only brings negative emotions to ourselves; trying to understand the context can help us let go.
In the age of the Internet, the hurt caused by criticism and blaming is magnified. People tend to judge things despite not having enough information. They also prefer to speculate based on the limited information they see. This might be an instinct for survival but causes problems today.
If we stop to think, criticism and blaming only cause hurt, while empathy and caring can bring love. So, which one is worth spreading in the world: hurt or love?
I’m watching a TV series about Buddha and have learned some good questioning methods from it. Indians prefer to use natural phenomena as metaphors, which I think influenced the style of the Indian poet Tagore.
I recommend watching the TV series about Buddha or reading poems by Tagore.